It was my cousin, about 18/19yrs whom my mum brought to help out with house chores and looking after us. I was 8/9yrs.She introduced me to porn first, then, asked that she checks the size of my penis. On fondling it, it got erect. I had few strands of hair on my pubic region then and she acclaimed that I was now a man. Then she introduced a play and said that as a man i should be strong and sat on my hip with my sisters at her back, and started grinding on my penis saying that she was driving a car.

The next day, she took me to the room, removed my shorts, sat on my hip, lifted her skirt (she wasn’t wearing pants) and inserted my semi erect penis on her pussy. I felt so much sore at my penis. Her privates was smelly. I felt choked up by the odour. She blackmailed me and told me that she would tell mum that I raped her. I felt so much traumatised. I had to look for an excuse to make my mum send her out. When she left, I told mum not to bring any other person.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

1 month

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

My friends, when they were arguing that males don’t get raped.

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

They just sympathised with me. My parents, siblings nor relatives knows till date because just as my friends found it hard to belief, they were like, that’s not rape. That i must have enjoyed it, i knew my parents would do nothing, so I bottled up. However, i am a doctor, a psychiatry residency trainee. I have been able to talk to myself and channel the energy to my work.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

Difficulty getting erect with females, but can get erect watching another person have sex with a female.

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

I have phobia for sexual relationship with females. I only have male friends. I find it hard trusting or loving females. The odour of that privates always comes up to my nose and I remember the incident whenever I meet a female.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

Yes