I KEPT TELLING THEM THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT – Anonymous 005
In late February of 2021, I met someone on Discord whose name was “TribLover”. I didn’t know what a “tribute” was at the time, and when this person contacted me and started asking me to show them pictures of my penis, I didn’t think it would lead to what it did. They started demanding that I send them “tributes”, which are videos of someone jerking off with a picture that can be seen in the view of the camera, and so I did it a few times.
However, all of the pictures they had sent of themselves actually turned out to be ones of Ariana Grande (which is why pictures of her still trigger me). After I sent them a few, they demanded that I cum in a video, but I couldn’t seem to do it, and I told them about how I couldn’t, yet they still kept insisting that I did. This person made me feel like my sole purpose was to make videos for them, and there were a few times where I kept telling them that I didn’t want to do it or that I didn’t have the opportunity to, but they kept being insistent that I send them more and more videos.
Whenever I would send them videos, they would simply say things like “Now do [whatever I tell you]” or even “Good boy” like it was my job to do things for them. This went on for a while, but after doing this for a few days, it became more and more stressful, and I finally told them that I would be taking a break from Discord when in reality, I just wanted to escape them. They then blocked me, and I never heard from them again.
How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?
It happened for about 4 or 5 days.
Have you ever told anyone or received help?
Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?
I wrote a poem about what happened and how it made me feel, and I’ve told some people about what happened, but it hasn’t really been helpful to me. I have been going to therapy for it, and I told my parents and some of my friends about it.
Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?
What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?
Since it happened, I have started to develop symptoms of PTSD and worsening symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?