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She Asked Me If I Enjoyed It – Anonymous 011

BTAI stands for Boys Talk About It. It is an annual project undergone to create societal awareness of the realities of Boy-Child Sexual Abuse. The stories you will be reading are anonymously shared with us by real people, detailing real experiences.

PS: The majority of the stories shared here are by men who were abused as minors. Some of these men are now fathers. We will appreciate your showing sensitivity and empathy in the case of commentary. In the meantime, we will appreciate you give us 2 minutes of your time to help fill this SURVEY on how society reacts to male sexual abuse. Thanks.

It’s with mixed feelings that I’d share my own experience. It started when I was just 9+ years in 1999. My mum was a trader who sold clothes at the market then and my dad was a civil servant working with NITEL.

During this period, mum was never around during the day, and dad was usually in morning or afternoon shift. When we returned from school, myself, my brother and sister, we were usually left in the house alone. Our landlord’s son, much older than us would call me, (my brother wouldn’t come) with a neighbour’s son also about my age then, and bring us into their parlour where they’d be watching porn.

At first, I was uneasy but with time I got used to it. The boy would ask me to strip down and he’d start fiddling with my privates, he’d do the same for our neighbour’s son too, then he’d buy us snacks and threaten us not to tell anyone.

This went on for some weeks until one day the boy’s sister caught us red handed. She didn’t even pretend to be shocked. She just joined us by asking me to sit on her lap. She placed my hands on her breasts and asked me to play with them. It felt awkward, so I requested that she let me leave. Well, it must have been almost a month after when she called me and asked me to buy her biscuits and bring it to her room. I obliged and that was the day I lost my virginity. When she was through she asked me if I enjoyed it, but I didn’t even know if I did.

This kept on for a whole year. And the same thing repeated itself with my older cousin the next year when my dad took me to the village. I ended up seducing and molesting a number of girls on my own. On one occasion, I even molested a boy! My mum caught us in the act, and she sent me to church for deliverance! (Btw, I’m not gay sha).

To be honest, I grew up with this deficiency in my mind shaping my opinion and philosophy about girls and sex. But I thank God.

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