“It’s easier for men to get over the trauma of sexual assault.” This is a widespread misconception believed by a large fraction of our society, and both males and females believe it. This harmful myth, among others, about male sexual abuse has kept countless men silent about their traumas, and this silence is being passed on and on.
Do males really experience sexual abuse? What are the myths and facts surrounding male sexual abuse? Why isn’t this talked about more openly in society? These and more are probably questions racing through your mind as you read, and they will be answered if you read on.
In this blog post, we’ll explore the meaning of male sexual abuse, forms of male sexual abuse, myths, and facts about male sexual abuse, as well as society’s attitude towards this in the 21st century. At the end of this blog post, you’ll get to understand why there is a need for more awareness about male sexual abuse and harassment in society and the need to totally get rid of the misconceptions and myths surrounding male sexual abuse.
Defining Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is the act of making someone take part in sexual activities against their wishes or without their agreement.
It is any form of non-consensual contact or behavior, often used to exert power and control over a person. This can include unwanted touching, coercion, or forced sexual acts, as well as exploitation through threats or manipulation.
Sexual abuse is making a person engage in sexual activities through the use of force or a threat, and in some cases, victims are exploited through blackmail after the incident. Most times victims are emotionally scarred for life because of this experience, some may isolate themselves and even fall into depression.
Understanding Male Sexual Abuse
Throughout history, male sexual abuse has existed in different cultures, in military settings and during colonization. Usually, in the past, it was done as a sign of asserting power and to show control over men.
The compilation of anonymous stories shared with Boys Without Borders NG through the Project Boys Talk About It (BTAI) between 2020 and 2023 corroborates this by revealing that:
- Male sexual abuse occurs majorly (48%) between ages 7 and 9
- 5 out of 10 reported cases were perpetrated by a family member, neighbor or acquaintance
- 1 out of 4 reported cases lasted between 1 to 5 years
- 2 out of every 5 victims reported negative systematic changes in their bodies after the incident
Just like in females, male victims experience the effects of sexual abuse and harassment, such as shame, anger, fear, and depression, but due to gender stereotypes, reporting and talking about their experiences may be difficult for male victims.
Other negative effects include fear of intimacy and relationship struggles, addictive behaviors, anxiety and suicidal thoughts, and other traumatic symptoms.
Forms of Male Sexual Abuse
Male sexual abuse can come in different ways, some of which include:
- child sexual abuse
- sexual harassment
- rape and assault
- drug-facilitated sexual abuse
- image-based sexual exploitation
Child Sexual Abuse
This is when physical contact and behaviors (directly and indirectly) are aimed at exploiting children sexually—male children in this case.
Sexual Harassment
This involves unwanted sexual advances, remarks, or gestures, often in a public and sometimes professional setting, which may severely impact the victim’s mental health and sense of security.
Rape and Assault
This is a severe form, and it includes any forced sexual act or penetration without consent. In most cases, men who experience rape often experience physical violence and threats.
Drug-Facilitated Sexual Abuse
Perpetrators frequently engage men who have become vulnerable under the influence of alcohol or drugs in non-consensual sexual activities or interactions.
Image-Based Sexual Exploitation
This type of abuse has to do with threatening to share or sharing intimate images or videos without consent and with the aim to control or punish the victim. In some cases, victims are exploited financially, too.
Sexual Grooming
This is common among victims abused by trusted individuals, usually in cases of child sexual abuse. It involves the perpetrator slowly establishing an emotional connection with the victim to manipulate and exploit them sexually over time.
Myths and Facts about Male Sexual Abuse
Myths About Male Sexual Abuse
Some popularly peddled myths about male sexual abuse include:
- Boys can’t be sexually abused because how will a woman overpower a man?
- Sexual abuse is not as harmful to boys as it is to girls.
- Boys who got sexually aroused when abused enjoyed the experience.
- Men who don’t feel happy after being abused by a female are not real men.
Facts About Male Sexual Abuse
Here are some facts that counter those popularly peddled myths about male sexual abuse:
- Male-to-male sexual abuse exists in the same way female-to-male sexual abuse exists. Not all sexual abuse against boys and men is perpetrated by the female gender.
- Sexual abuse is as harmful to boys as it is to girls.
- Getting aroused while being sexually abused does not mean that the victim enjoyed the experience, or that they are at fault.
- Sexual abuse is never positive, it’s okay if men feel sad and uncomfortable after such experience.
Society’s Attitudes Towards Male Sexual Abuse in the 21st Century
Society’s view on male sexual abuse has evolved significantly over time. Compared to decades ago, when male victims were often dismissed, and myths around masculinity led to a lack of recognition and support, awareness and empathy have improved in the 21st century, even if stigmas remain.
Here are some contrasting attitudes and progress in addressing male sexual abuse from past decades to today:
- increased awareness
- stigma reduction
- legal support
- support services expansion
- education and advocacy
Increased Awareness
A wider audience now acknowledges that male sexual abuse occurs, challenging the longstanding perception that sexual violence primarily affects women. Campaigns and discussions surrounding sexual abuse and harassment have helped a lot in increasing awareness.
Stigma Reduction
Decades ago, male sexual abuse was not widely acknowledged, partly due to societal beliefs that men should be invulnerable to victimization. Today, efforts to destigmatize the issue are gaining traction. Campaigns and discussions aim to break down these stigmas, although some men still feel pressure to stay silent due to fear of judgment or shame.
Legal Support
In recent years, many countries have revised laws to include men as potential victims of sexual violence, with clearer definitions of consent and protections in place. This was rare in past decades, where legal frameworks typically focused on female victims. A typical example can be found in Section 357 of the Criminal Code Act of the Nigerian constitution.
Support Services Expansion
More organizations such as The Male Survivor, 1in6, and RAINN are emerging to support male victims, providing resources tailored specifically to their needs. This is a shift from earlier decades when such resources were almost non-existent.
Education and Advocacy
More groups and organizations work to raise awareness, educate the public, and provide support. This was less common in past decades when male abuse was often overlooked by advocacy groups.
It is important to spread awareness about male sexual abuse and harassment in order to get rid of the myths and misinformation around it. Men, just like anyone else, can experience abuse, and their experiences deserve the same support and understanding.
Let’s continue to advocate for truth, compassion, and inclusion so that all victims of sexual abuse receive the recognition and support they deserve.
By discussing it openly, we take crucial steps toward creating a culture where male survivors feel empowered to speak out.
Precious Eniola Ayoola is a freelance content writer and author who volunteers on the Content Team at Boys Without Borders’ Directorate of Media and Communication.
