By: Aborisade Grace Boluwatife
Khaled Hosseini, in his poignant novel A Thousand Splendid Suns, writes, “A man’s heart is a wretched, wretched thing. It is not like a mother’s womb. It won’t bleed. It won’t stretch to make room for you.” This profound observation reshapes the way we view the emotional lives of men, particularly the boy child. The narrative that “boys don’t cry” has, for too long, shaped societal expectations and imposed emotional silences on them.
The boy child is often socialized to mask his emotions, to endure in silence, and to shoulder burdens without complaint. He is taught, in essence, to embody the stoic figure of Atlas, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. But how often do we stop to reflect on the internal cost of such expectations? What happens when the weight becomes unbearable, when the silent cries echo unheard, and when societal pressures break the boy child’s spirit?
The silence imposed on the boy child is not merely a lack of voice—it is an orbit of expectations that stifles his individuality and his right to express vulnerability. This silence is more than metaphorical; it shapes his reality, creating a mystique about his inner world. However, we must ask: what are the hidden truths behind the silence? What cries for help remain unanswered in the quiet world we have confined him to?
One of the most pervasive myths that contribute to this silence is the notion that “the boy child should not wear pink.” This seemingly trivial statement underscores a much larger issue: gender norms that restrict freedom of expression and impose conformity. In a world where colors, clothing, and self-expression are so often dictated by gender, the boy who chooses pink is met with mockery and derision. Labels like “Barbie boy” or “Princess Ken” serve to demean his choices and perpetuate harmful stereotypes. Society, in its rigid adherence to gendered norms, forces the boy child into a box, punishing him for the simple act of embracing his own preferences.
Another fallacy that continues to haunt the boy child is the stigma surrounding mental health. The societal belief that “real men do not see the shrink” reinforces the dangerous idea that seeking professional help is a sign of weakness. This is particularly troubling when we consider the alarming rates at which boys and men are exposed to violence, trauma, and emotional strain. Yet, the expectation persists that they must endure without external help. Seeking therapy, in this context, is seen as unmanly, and those who dare to defy this norm are labeled with derogatory terms like “yeye man” (weak man). This stigmatization not only impedes access to mental health care but also deepens the emotional wounds that boys and men carry silently.
Furthermore, societal pressures surrounding financial success create another form of silence. From a young age, the boy child is taught that “money makes the man” and that financial stability is the ultimate measure of his worth. Phrases like “broke boys don’t deserve love” or “with money comes respect” have become damaging mantras, perpetuating a toxic cycle of financial obsession. The result is a generation of boys who feel compelled to resort to desperate and harmful means—such as fraud or corruption—in order to meet these expectations. Unfortunately, when these men falter under the weight of their ill-gotten gains, society quickly turns on them, casting judgment without considering the societal pressures that drove them to these extremes.
It is important to recognize that the issues faced by the boy child are not isolated incidents. These pressures, these echoes of unspoken pain, are the result of a society that refuses to listen. Whether it’s the expectation to conform to rigid gender norms, the stigma surrounding mental health, or the unrelenting pressure to achieve financial success, the boy child is often left to navigate these challenges in silence. As a society, we are complicit in this silence—failing to acknowledge the full humanity of the boy child and denying him the space to express himself, seek help, and be truly heard.
We as a society that clamors for change must firstly embrace the fact that men are humans before they become gendeified.
This might help shape our foregrounded perspective about the boy child thus leading to a new found track guide in raising the boy child. A man who finds safety in letting his emotions surface as he wills is a man who is willing to help empathize with the plights of others.
Let’s endeavour to give the clip of listening ears to the boy child and not just indulge him into solving problems whilst his withers into echoes.
In a world where the boy child is told to reside in silence,You and I can be the still voice that becokens to them in not just echoes but with crackling of thunderstorms.
Be the change! Be the voice that breaks the silence stereotype.
