It takes a lot of courage to let this out. Although, I am still working on myself but I will like if I am not connected in any way. But had to say this, because someone might learn one or two lessons from it. It all started when I was in Primary 3, I was 7 years old, in a faith based school. There was this senior that repeated this class. He happened to be my sit mate. It then happened that one day during break time everyone was outside playing but the little me came to class because I fought with some of my friends, the senior was in class also alone. He took to me console me, and before I knew he was touch my genitals already, well, he happened to be a man like me. What am I supposed to do as he was more huge than the little me, with this don’t try me look on his face. I then suck it in with his instructions. Thank God this was a one-time event.
Once, I was about to enter secondary school, my parents took me away from the school. Happy me, right? I resumed a new school. Fun atmosphere, it was really nice until one senior boy in Js2 in my room compelled me to be his sex doll. Gosh! it was disgusting. It happened when we resumed for second term. Although, I was close to this senior, unfortunately, we both resumed that fateful day. I spent the whole night playing with his genitals, while he was sucking mine. I like luck was not on my side. It was a terrible experience I was only nine, and my school seniors were really mean. With his instructions, I suck it without telling a soul. Thanks God, by some miracle I left that room at the second term.
Getting to Jss3, I was close to a senior who happened to be my namesake. The experience with this one was far worst that my last two. He made me realize that I am just a toy he call me anytime he want me. Getting to Sss 1, more seniors showed face, it was as if they were telling themselves. Thanks God in my SS2 and Ss3 I was free from the snare. Getting into the university, for the first week this new boy I meet abused me also. Since then, I took a decision to discontinue with school hostel and stay at home. I am currently in my 300lv, I still prefer to go for lectures from home.
Ever since the beginning of this issues, I felt I couldn’t be loved again. I’m just 18 and anytime I think about having a girlfriend, all I remember is this horrible things this senior boy have done to me. I felt so ashamed of myself and for some reason I have been finding some male celebrity hot. Although I have been working on myself not to be a product of my circumstances, but to give hope to those people in the same shoes as mine that there is still hope. One if you are able to let go of the past.
How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?
I can’t really pick a particular year, because it was not on a frequent based. It was just once in a while I fall victim.
Have you ever told anyone or received help?
Yes, I did
Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?
My pastor and it had really been helpful
Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?
Not really.
What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?
None as of today
Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?
No
