I was raped by my sister’s friends. It was around 2004, I was 10, we lived somewhere in Lagos, in a “face me I face you” apartment and at the time only a few apartments had coloured TVs; we couldn’t afford one at the time. So, I would always find myself going to different houses to watch TV. At that time, Mum was always busy with her shop and Pops was always at work and all we had was a conventional Nigerian parent-child relationship, we rarely spoke about anything besides school, books, church, and Christmas clothes.
On this so normal day, I was bored in the house so I decided to go watch TV at a neighbour’s house, this neighbour happened to be my cousin’s friend (I call her aunty as she was very close to our family). I knocked on her door, asked if she was watching TV, she said yes and asked me to come in, I was hesitant at first because she was alone and it just felt weird to be alone in a room with an older female. Well, she’s my sister’s friend so what the worst that could happen?
I was watching TV alone in the room with her and she shut the door behind us, I didn’t really think much about it until I looked behind me and saw that she was naked. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do, she then asked me to come close and she placed my hands on her boobs, and then asked me to touch her in her privates; it was hairy and wet, like she just rubbed it with some kind of grease. I can’t remember having sex with her, but since then sex now seems like a normal, I started having sex with older ladies in the compound. Maybe she had told them that I was cool with it and won’t tell anyone. I was just 10! Well I couldn’t tell anyone be I’m a man and we are meant to be strong. The sad thing was, I started enjoying it.
I thought that was the end, until Bro. John. He was a member of my church and was in a way close to the family, so we call him brother. I don’t know what he told me, all I remember was I was in an uncompleted building, he took off his pants and rubbing his privates with vaseline. He thrust it in my asshole; I felt my soul leave me. He immediately covered my mouth with his strong arms and said it’s nothing. The idiot said it’s nothing!
I still live with the pain to date, I try to bury it but when I hear stories of rape and child molestation both male and female, it just brings back these unhealthy memories. It’s sad but this shit still happens.
How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?
4 years maybe
Have you ever told anyone or received help?
I told my Uncle who happened to be a psychiatrist. I was losing time, forgetting things, seeing strange outfits in my wardrobe. I was getting called out for behaviours I would never exhibit in my right senses. I managed this torments till I was 17 and I told my uncle, they ran some tests and did some therapy on me. I was diagnosed with a serious Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?
I have told my girlfriend. Didn’t help much.
Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?
None.
What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?
How I relate with other guys.
Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?
No
