BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 2.0

I KEPT TELLING THEM THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT – Anonymous 005

In late February of 2021, I met someone on Discord whose name was “TribLover”. I didn’t know what a “tribute” was at the time, and when this person contacted me and started asking me to show them pictures of my penis, I didn’t think it would lead to what it did. They started demanding that I send them “tributes”, which are videos of someone jerking off with a picture that can be seen in the view of the camera, and so I did it a few times.

However, all of the pictures they had sent of themselves actually turned out to be ones of Ariana Grande (which is why pictures of her still trigger me). After I sent them a few, they demanded that I cum in a video, but I couldn’t seem to do it, and I told them about how I couldn’t, yet they still kept insisting that I did. This person made me feel like my sole purpose was to make videos for them, and there were a few times where I kept telling them that I didn’t want to do it or that I didn’t have the opportunity to, but they kept being insistent that I send them more and more videos.

Whenever I would send them videos, they would simply say things like “Now do [whatever I tell you]” or even “Good boy” like it was my job to do things for them. This went on for a while, but after doing this for a few days, it became more and more stressful, and I finally told them that I would be taking a break from Discord when in reality, I just wanted to escape them. They then blocked me, and I never heard from them again.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

It happened for about 4 or 5 days.

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

Yes

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

I wrote a poem about what happened and how it made me feel, and I’ve told some people about what happened, but it hasn’t really been helpful to me. I have been going to therapy for it, and I told my parents and some of my friends about it.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

No.

 What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

Since it happened, I have started to develop symptoms of PTSD and worsening symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

No

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 2.0

IT LASTED FOR LIKE 7 YEARS – Anonymous 004

When I was 9 my elder sister started this romantic and sexual act with me. And it lasted for like 7 years which I have later became addicted to it.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

6 to 7 years

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

No

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

Nobody

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

No.

 What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

Mental disturbance.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

Yes

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 2.0

SINCE THEN I’VE BEEN SCARED OF SEX – Anonymous 003

There’s this relative living with us. Anytime we’re home alone, she’ll touch my private part and caress it and also put off her clothing and take my hand to caress her private part. One day, she made me finger her and later opened up her private part with her hands and made me look inside. The sight shocked me, she’s not a clean girl and I lost the erection she manufactured. I was not 10 yet and she was almost 20. Since then I’ve been scared of sex, never had sex. Anytime I tried to have sex I lose my erection.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

A long time

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

No

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

None

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

I can’t keep an erection during sex.

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

Fear

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

Yes

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 2.0

NOW IN MY 50S, I HAVE ERECTILE PROBLEMS – Anonymous 002

I had half my penile skin amputated as an infant. Sadly, this abuse is extremely common and institutionalized in the US. I have no recourse to justice. It has cause me great suffering throughout life, the failure of two marriages, and my children raised in broken homes. I don’t even want another relationship due to my sexual dysfunctions caused by my being raped as a new-born infant.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

My entire life

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

Yes. 99% don’t care. I had many counsellors invalidate me immediately. I have found one who listens, but he is busy. I have lost friends and family for speaking out. My siblings are divided. This has torn my family structures apart.

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

No attorney will touch my case. I am told they could be disciplined by the court. Doctors, councillors, urologist don’t care, and invalidate me.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

Yes. I have always struggled to climax. Sex was insufficient. I would stop and masturbate to finish. I get no enjoyment from BJs. Now in my 50s, I have erectile problems, and have lost almost all sensation in my penis. I am sexually frustrated but lack the ability to find relief.

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

I have been depressed and suicidal on many occasions, and still am. I have battled with alcoholism and other addictions. I have struggled my whole life with drugs/toys/promiscuity in any attempt at sexual satisfaction that is beyond my reach.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

No

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 2.0

SHE ALWAYS HAVE ME TO PENETRATE HER – Anonymous 001

When I was still a kid at around Age 7, my mum steps sister who was younger than her at around age 15 then came to stay with us; I was the only child. So, my parents wanted me to have some company around. She did almost everything at home from chores to taking care of me. She started with playing with me when no one was around, making me pleasure her with my hands.

Then she started making me penetrate her as little as I was, I really didn’t know what it was about but I was always excited whenever she calls me; she would make me do all kinds of things to her.  Most times, suck her breast for long. She always have me to penetrate her anytime my mum wasn’t around or touch her breast or private parts when we were alone. She treated me nicely every time and told me not to tell my mum and dad. She stayed with my family for almost 5 years and it was like that till she left.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

When I was 7 to 11-12

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

Just one person, no I haven’t

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

She shared her similar story with me about how she was also abused by their housemaid.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

Not really just been extremely active and sexually excited

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

I am addicted to masturbation. It was serious at a point in my life but reduced with time, now I can cope for a month or more without masturbating, because I have been trying to seek help and read articles; sometimes it becomes worse. I’m obsessed with sex and I see women as an object of pleasure.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

Yes

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