BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

HE MADE ME REALIZE THAT I AM JUST A TOY – Anonymous 012

It takes a lot of courage to let this out. Although, I am still working on myself but I will like if I am not connected in any way. But had to say this, because someone might learn one or two lessons from it. It all started when I was in Primary 3, I was 7 years old, in a faith based school. There was this senior that repeated this class. He happened to be my sit mate. It then happened that one day during break time everyone was outside playing but the little me came to class because I fought with some of my friends, the senior was in class also alone. He took to me console me, and before I knew he was touch my genitals already, well, he happened to be a man like me. What am I supposed to do as he was more huge than the little me, with this don’t try me look on his face. I then suck it in with his instructions. Thank God this was a one-time event.

Once, I was about to enter secondary school, my parents took me away from the school. Happy me, right? I resumed a new school. Fun atmosphere, it was really nice until one senior boy in Js2 in my room compelled me to be his sex doll. Gosh! it was disgusting. It happened when we resumed for second term. Although, I was close to this senior, unfortunately, we both resumed that fateful day. I spent the whole night playing with his genitals, while he was sucking mine. I like luck was not on my side. It was a terrible experience I was only nine, and my school seniors were really mean. With his instructions, I suck it without telling a soul. Thanks God, by some miracle I left that room at the second term.

Getting to Jss3, I was close to a senior who happened to be my namesake. The experience with this one was far worst that my last two. He made me realize that I am just a toy he call me anytime he want me. Getting to Sss 1, more seniors showed face, it was as if they were telling themselves. Thanks God in my SS2 and Ss3 I was free from the snare. Getting into the university, for the first week this new boy I meet abused me also. Since then, I took a decision to discontinue with school hostel and stay at home. I am currently in my 300lv, I still prefer to go for lectures from home.

Ever since the beginning of this issues, I felt I couldn’t be loved again.  I’m just 18 and anytime I think about having a girlfriend, all I remember is this horrible things this senior boy have done to me. I felt so ashamed of myself and for some reason I have been finding some male celebrity hot. Although I have been working on myself not to be a product of my circumstances, but to give hope to those people in the same shoes as mine that there is still hope. One if you are able to let go of the past.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

I can’t really pick a particular year, because it was not on a frequent based. It was just once in a while I fall victim.

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

Yes, I did

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

My pastor and it had really been helpful

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

Not really.

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

None as of today

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

No

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

DADDY AND MUMMY PLAY – Anonymous 011

I have had up to like three different abuses, and I am just 20. Two of which were from my age mates, and the other one which happens to be the first from a lady who is older (a distant relative, to be precise). I was just 5 then, and I remembered it all started with the common “daddy and mummy play”, it was all fun until she made me realize couples the things needs to have, and to do that, there is a process. She did all sort of things, and there was even penetration.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

This happened for months before I and my mom left the place, because I lost my dad at a very early stage.

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

No I haven’t told anyone

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

Nobody. I feel no could really understand. No they never will.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

Growing up I hated anything that has to do with sex. Then all of a sudden when I clocked 14, I started fantasizing about having and I got addicted to pornography and masturbation which I have tried to stop several times.

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

I am always depressed and I regret masturbating every time I do it.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

Yes

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

I THOUGHT IT WAS MY FAULT – Anonymous 009

I was young, went on a vacation with a cousin, he touched me and squeeze my penis until I urinated and it happened many times till I left that place. When I returned the next year, same thing. After that I told no one but kept my distance from him and moved on with my life. Low key, no one knows I struggled from masturbation addiction since then and of course, porn addiction. I thought it was my fault cos I might have had a hand in it but he was an adult and I was just 12.

It made me think I was gay but somehow I’m talking myself out of that narrative. I haven’t completely healed but I will one day. I’m sure of it.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

7 and 8 years ago

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

Not really

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

Motivational and counselling

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

A friend, didn’t end well

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

No

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

No

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

GETTING MYSELF CURED IS ANOTHER MAIN CHALLENGE – Anonymous 008

Well, my story was about a man in the neighbourhood who exposed me to seeing pornography, seeing what they call sperm for the first time by forcing it out. More so, he dipped his big genitals into my anus, which I know was larger than my anus.

Few years down the line, I started having what they call pile and all sort. I am such a person who does not take surgery things and my parents were amazed since the challenge began.

Getting myself cured is another main challenge.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

6-7years

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

A person who only motivated me.

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

Motivational and counselling

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

Yes I have, periodical pile experience. Pain without description

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

Feel bad whenever I recall the event.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

Yes

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

THIS WAS SOMETHING HE DID ON SUNDAYS – Anonymous 006

I got raped at age 5 by a young man. This was something he did on Sundays. I grew up hating men; I wouldn’t lie, even though I still date them. I’m a guy by the way though, the hate has subsided after I met a couple of other guys who have proven otherwise. Ever since the experience I had at 5, I honestly find it hard condoning any form of abuse, it made me very sensitive and it sends a huge shiver down my spine every time.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

I can say three times as at then.

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

Yes, I’ve been outspoken over the years to friends and a therapist I started seeing.

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

Close friends and my therapist.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

Nothing medically only that for a long-time I kept thinking of what he did. Which I actually confronted him via telephone at some point but we’ve not spoken over four years now.

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

I’ve been depressed do many times. The memory made me blame myself and everyone around me for a long-time but I’ve gone past that stage.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

No

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

I FELT SO MUCH TRAUMATIZED – Anonymous 005

It was my cousin, about 18/19yrs whom my mum brought to help out with house chores and looking after us. I was 8/9yrs.She introduced me to porn first, then, asked that she checks the size of my penis. On fondling it, it got erect. I had few strands of hair on my pubic region then and she acclaimed that I was now a man. Then she introduced a play and said that as a man i should be strong and sat on my hip with my sisters at her back, and started grinding on my penis saying that she was driving a car.

The next day, she took me to the room, removed my shorts, sat on my hip, lifted her skirt (she wasn’t wearing pants) and inserted my semi erect penis on her pussy. I felt so much sore at my penis. Her privates was smelly. I felt choked up by the odour. She blackmailed me and told me that she would tell mum that I raped her. I felt so much traumatised. I had to look for an excuse to make my mum send her out. When she left, I told mum not to bring any other person.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

1 month

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

My friends, when they were arguing that males don’t get raped.

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

They just sympathised with me. My parents, siblings nor relatives knows till date because just as my friends found it hard to belief, they were like, that’s not rape. That i must have enjoyed it, i knew my parents would do nothing, so I bottled up. However, i am a doctor, a psychiatry residency trainee. I have been able to talk to myself and channel the energy to my work.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

Difficulty getting erect with females, but can get erect watching another person have sex with a female.

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

I have phobia for sexual relationship with females. I only have male friends. I find it hard trusting or loving females. The odour of that privates always comes up to my nose and I remember the incident whenever I meet a female.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

Yes

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

SHE DID MORE WITH MY YOUNGER BROTHER – Anonymous 004

The girl/lady was staying with the landlords upstairs. There was a store down where they sold sachet water, ice block and kerosene which she managed because the landlords were already advanced in age. I and my younger bro used to go to the store to play with her, and one of the store doors was always locked, the right one precisely, looking from outside.

I saw her on top my brother while I was playing with an old bike parked in the store. I asked her what she was doing. She wanted to know if I wanted it too. I was curious, I said yes. So she lay me down behind the closed door like my brother, took my shorts down and got on top of me, more like squatting. I don’t know what happened, if there was any movement, I can’t recall. After a short while, I felt the urge to pee and I told her. She allowed me. I tried to pee but nothing was coming out. It was a whole new feeling for me, I didn’t know what had just occurred.

Another day she tried asking me again, this time she opened her legs and showed me her privates wide open, I left her and went out. I believe she did more with my younger brother. We’ve not had that discussion, but it did change me as it changed him. I have continually sought release through masturbating, then pornography but I can’t bring myself to a stop.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

Just once

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

I haven’t really told anyone. I have not received help.

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

None

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

None

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

The feeling to ejaculate had me masturbating, and I ALSO got into pornography. I feel bad about myself before and after I release

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

Yes

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

AFTER EVERY ACT I WAS GIVEN N1000-Anonymous 003

My parents separated at 13 and I had to go live with my grandma. I stayed with her for about 4 years. I had this aunt who always taunts me that my mother is a prostitute and that I was the cause of my parent’s separation. Then one day during my grandma’s travels, she took me to visit her friends and left me with them for about 3 days. I was drugged and given alcohol and sexually abused in various manners and forms. After every act, I was given N1000. I had different women come in at different days and times, till I was able to run away back to my mother’s house. All of these happened between 2005 and 2010.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

5 years

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

I told my Uncle who happened to be a psychiatrist. I was losing time, forgetting things, seeing strange outfits in my wardrobe. I was getting called out for behaviours I would never exhibit in my right senses. I managed this torments till I was 17 and I told my uncle, they ran some tests and did some therapy on me. I was diagnosed with a serious Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

A young friend I tried to help, to see if she can break free from her past.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

Don’t know

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

I can’t remember a whole lot of my childhood and events leading up to that time and during that time too. Seems like there’s a huge hole there. I masturbate. I think violent thoughts about women (haven’t acted on them though), sometimes I think about suicide. There’s been like this deep anger I feel.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

No

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

I WAS RAPED BY MY SISTER’S FRIENDS-Anonymous 002

I was raped by my sister’s friends. It was around 2004, I was 10, we lived somewhere in Lagos, in a “face me I face you” apartment and at the time only a few apartments had coloured TVs; we couldn’t afford one at the time.  So, I would always find myself going to different houses to watch TV. At that time, Mum was always busy with her shop and Pops was always at work and all we had was a conventional Nigerian parent-child relationship, we rarely spoke about anything besides school, books, church, and Christmas clothes.

On this so normal day, I was bored in the house so I decided to go watch TV at a neighbour’s house, this neighbour happened to be my cousin’s friend (I call her aunty as she was very close to our family). I knocked on her door, asked if she was watching TV, she said yes and asked me to come in, I was hesitant at first because she was alone and it just felt weird to be alone in a room with an older female. Well, she’s my sister’s friend so what the worst that could happen?

I was watching TV alone in the room with her and she shut the door behind us, I didn’t really think much about it until I looked behind me and saw that she was naked. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do, she then asked me to come close and she placed my hands on her boobs, and then asked me to touch her in her privates; it was hairy and wet, like she just rubbed it with some kind of grease.  I can’t remember having sex with her, but since then sex now seems like a normal, I started having sex with older ladies in the compound. Maybe she had told them that I was cool with it and won’t tell anyone. I was just 10! Well I couldn’t tell anyone be I’m a man and we are meant to be strong. The sad thing was, I started enjoying it.

I thought that was the end, until Bro. John. He was a member of my church and was in a way close to the family, so we call him brother. I don’t know what he told me, all I remember was I was in an uncompleted building, he took off his pants and rubbing his privates with vaseline. He thrust it in my asshole; I felt my soul leave me. He immediately covered my mouth with his strong arms and said it’s nothing. The idiot said it’s nothing!

I still live with the pain to date, I try to bury it but when I hear stories of rape and child molestation both male and female, it just brings back these unhealthy memories. It’s sad but this shit still happens.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

4 years maybe

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

I told my Uncle who happened to be a psychiatrist. I was losing time, forgetting things, seeing strange outfits in my wardrobe. I was getting called out for behaviours I would never exhibit in my right senses. I managed this torments till I was 17 and I told my uncle, they ran some tests and did some therapy on me. I was diagnosed with a serious Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

I have told my girlfriend. Didn’t help much.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

None.

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

How I relate with other guys.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

No

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BOYS TALK ABOUT IT 1.0

HOW I WAS RAPED BY MY NEIGHBOR’S DAUGHTERS – Anonymous 001

Well, I was 8 and I was usually alone with the neighbour. He had his daughters and some of his nieces staying with him.  I respected them and I related to them as they were way older, the youngest was 17. Unknown to me, about 5 of them had a thing for young impressionable boys and I became their victim. They took turns on me, anal sex, pegging, oral sex even made me drink their urine and all sorts of nasty things that I can’t type. They ruined me, my childhood ended early.

How long has this sexual abuse / behaviour occurred/been occurring?

It went on for 5 years, we moved away from that area when I was 12

Have you ever told anyone or received help?

I told my Uncle who happened to be a psychiatrist. I was losing time, forgetting things, seeing strange outfits in my wardrobe. I was getting called out for behaviours I would never exhibit in my right senses. I managed this torments till I was 17 and I told my uncle, they ran some tests and did some therapy on me. I was diagnosed with a serious Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Who did you tell or what type of help did you receive?

I told my Uncle, the psychiatrist and my parents last year.

Have you noticed any physical or medical changes with your body as a result of the sexual abuse?

A lot of changes both physical and medical.

What has been the emotional or psychological effects you’ve experienced as a result of the sexual abuse?

The troubles of being a patient with D.I.D. I’d do things I can’t remember, lose friends because one of my alters or psyches decide to show up. It ruined my teenage years.

Do you wish to further speak with mental health professionals about this?

No

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